Turning Pain into Power: How Grief Sparked Creativity for Lauren London and Me

Grief is weird; Grief is sneaky. I want to smack grief in her face, respectfully.

This piece is a hodge podge of thoughts put together, I tried my best to make it flow. I appreciate every one of you who takes the time to read it.

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Grief tends to shape our lives in undesired ways and exhibits depths of creativity we never knew existed. The death of my dad two years ago transformed art and storytelling as tools of solace for me. Today, I want to dive a bit deeper into the entanglement of grief and creativity and figures like Lauren London, who have been able to turn their pain into powerful artistic expression.

Reflecting on grief and my loss brought to mind an article I read in 2017 titled, “But Who Prays for Kidada” by Toi Bly. Unfortunately, the website on which it was posted is no longer active. Luckily, the Wayback machine came through, and I could access the article this way.

"But Who Prays for Kidada" reflects the deep sadness that has to be a reality within her life after the loss of both her fiancé, Tupac Shakur, and her best friend, Aaliyah. More than ever, this piece made me appreciate how bad those hurts must have been and just how much a human spirit could take. It provided a window into Kidada’s world, illustrating how she managed to find a semblance of strength and purpose amid the shadows of her grief.

Reflecting on Kidada’s story naturally led me to think about other individuals who have faced similar heartaches, particularly Lauren London. Grief is an all-too-familiar experience that strikes every life, but it offers an equally great possibility of redemption and creativity. Lauren London has taken that grief—to death, like Kidada—right into her art and changed personal tragedy into a powerful source for artistic expression.

Los Angeles love kinda of like Hussle and Boog.

Lauren London captured our hearts as New New in the movie ATL. In 2019, she, together with the whole world, was in shock over the loss of her longtime partner, the rapper Nipsey Hussle. At times, such an event consumes you, but in her, it just sealed the bond with her craft. Acting became not just a career but a lifeline—a way to process profound grief and turn pain into something meaningful.

Since then, her performances have carried a raw, poignant authenticity that reflects her sorrowful journey. In interviews, she shared how these roles became a form of therapy, a way to explore and express the deep emotions that accompanied her loss. This is evident in her recent portrayals of resilient women, which resonate strongly with audiences. Lauren's story is a testament to the redemptive power of creativity, showing that art can be a chapel where sorrow is transformed into strength and beauty.

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In addition to her acting, Lauren collaborated with Puma on the “Forever Stronger” collection to honor Nipsey Hussle's legacy. This collaboration wasn't just about fashion; it was a heartfelt tribute to his life and work, merging her grief with creative expression to celebrate and remember him. This partnership brought together elements of his vision and her journey, creating something deeply meaningful and resonant.

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my mother, father & me.

Though I did not lose my significant other, Lauren’s story feels deeply personal to me. Amidst the ensuing storm after losing my father, I turned to creative endeavors as a way to keep my hands and mind busy. I created a Substack, "BLK ART BITES (now The BLK PRSPCTV)” to focus on. I started to journal, writing longhand. Writing my thoughts on paper felt therapeutic as if each stroke of the pencil was helping to process my emotions.

Losing a parent changes you.

I was also in the last semester before graduation and was writing a master's thesis in this very period. Well, searching for strength to graduate and composing words for the thesis was one of the most difficult times in my life. All I wanted to do was feel sorry for myself; sometimes I barely went to class.

I had the most amazing professors who didn't penalize me for not showing up or not handing in assignments, and who allowed me to grieve and take my time.

In addition, I created an online archive—a page on Instagram—in memory of my dad, to celebrate his life and the lessons he taught me. I have allowed myself to turn my grief into creative projects and essays that I will carry with me forever, sharing the spirit of my father's legacy.

originally written for an internship group project

Art allows us, in our journeys, to process and transform grief into something others can share and understand. Through London's powerful performances, her meaningful collaboration with Puma, and my creative areas of solace online, we each offer beacons of hope, reminding ourselves and others that while grief is deep and personal, it can also be a source of incredible strength and inspiration.

Our stories are about turning inward to find the glint of creativity within ourselves to handle our losses—whether through painting, writing, music, or any other means of expression. We all hold the power to transform our loss into something beautiful and meaningful.

I am very open about the loss of my father. I have no issues speaking about it. Being so open was also a way for me to heal. The above Lauren London interview with Angie Martinez (The Queen of NY radio) perfectly expresses how I feel while navigating loss and moving forward.

Grief is weird; Grief is sneaky. I want to smack grief in her face, respectfully.

I hated being told, “Call me if you need anything” or “I’m here for you.” Once my father’s funeral happened, people were nowhere to be found. Family and friends were able to move on and I was left to deal with all these feelings I did not want to deal with. It made me look at loved ones differently and also made me change how I act when others are grieving.

@madeitoutpodcastjonica talks grief this week #wlw #lesbianpodcast #gay #griefjourney

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Jonica Booth (HBO’s Rap Sh!t, Bad Girls Club) coming through with a word! I am learning how to now get comfortable with this new version of myself.

There is no death etiquette -Lauren London

If there is one thing I want you all to take away from my essay is, the best thing you can do for someone who is grieving is just be.

Be the listening ear

Be the person to sit with them. Sometimes even in silence.

Let us remember how art heals, elevates, and transforms as we press forward in our journey, where grief meets creativity. Please take a moment to honor the journeys of Lauren London, Kidada Jones, and countless others.

Let their stories remind us that even in the darkest of times, creativity is a powerful light.