Trying to Be Okay in a World That Doesn’t See Me
raw honesty, no filter, no fluff
I remember watching Love is Blind Season 6, and that scene after Clay said no to AD at the altar hit me harder than I expected.
AD was crying, and through tears, she said:
“I’m just never enough.”
WHEW. I FELT THAT.
Not like, I watched it and thought, “That’s sad.”
But, like, it echoed through my chest and touched on my insecurity.
Lately, I’ve been sitting with that heavy, quiet statement:
“I’m just never enough.”
Not just in love.
In everything.
In love, I give and get silence back.
I stay patient, give space, and try not to be too much, but somehow, I still feel like too little.
Like my softness is only welcome when it’s convenient.
The best parts of me are easy to use but never enough to keep.
And it doesn’t stop there.
In work?
I’m overlooked and passed over.
I show up, apply, and try to build something out of nothing, but I still feel like I’m behind. Like everyone else, I got the manual for success, and I’m just out here winging it, waiting for someone to see me. Pick me. Pay me.
In purpose?
Even that’s cloudy now.
I started The BLK PRSPCTV to create a space where Black creativity, Black feelings, and Black beings could exist without apology.
But some days, even that feels shaky.
Like, who am I to hold space when I’m this lost?
When I’m doubting if I’m even worth the space I take up?
This isn’t some dramatic breakdown.
It’s just honesty. The kind that creeps in on a Thursday morning when nobody texts back and all your plans feel stuck when you’re scrolling job boards and past due dreams. When you realize you’ve given so much and still feel invisible.
But some days, I don’t want a motivational quote. I want answers. I want to rest. I want relief.
Because right now?
I feel like I’m trying so hard to be okay. To be “better.”
To be enough for a world that keeps telling me I’m not.
The BLK PRSPCTV was never about perfection.
This is me, showing up in the middle of the mess.
This piece isn’t wrapped in a bow. There’s no clean ending, just a pause.
The BLK PRSPCTV isn’t about having it all figured out. It’s about reflecting out loud, creating space for honesty, and reminding each other we’re not as alone as we feel.
Thanks for being here with me during the questions.
Felt this to the core.
Honestly, one of the reasons I stepped back from most social spaces to unpack the feelings. At the time, I couldn't name it... but it was exactly this.
Reading this piece felt as if you were reclaiming your space to allow yourself to be who you are and present that to the world in the most vulnerable of ways.
Kudos and sending you love & hugs!
Felt this. A lotta times I feel like I’m too much yet not enough. Appreciate the relatable transparency. 🙏🏽